When this site was being conceived, I asked a friend if he thought I should post poetry-type stuff on here. He said no because it might turn off the people who came here for my marketing/PR snaps or my poli-social wittisisms.

I dislike words like ‘poem’ and ‘poetry’ because they make me feel emo…. you know…. like I conduct all my writing endeavors in my Brooklyn apartment on my mini-laptop while overly caffeinated, wearing wrist warmers & listening to Muse.

I wanted to avoid that implication because it can be a turn off for those frightened by skinny jeans.

I also wanted to avoid the ‘What the hell?” questions that can arise from the plurality of my nature…. sort of like how people only see my shoe collection and not the fact that I never go anywhere without my 8 inch ruby red netbook and/or my Kindle, Oryx, named after the Margaret Atwood novel.

Sure, on any given day I can go to Bryant Park & tell you what season, style, & brand of heel a woman is wearing but I can also go into any church & tell you whether the columns are Doric or not.

I can also tell you why a good hard consonant sound is the best way to sell, not just market, anything – including yourself.

(Hang on, espresso break)

It’s sort of what I do – this synergy thing. It’s a goal of mine to show people that they need to be fearless in who they are & not succumb to the erroneous idea that one facet of their personality doesn’t fit or contradicts another.

I’m a writer. It’s not something I do, it’s who I am. My 9-5 is something I do, but it’s made up of hundreds of facets of who I am. I carved out my job. It didn’t exist before I made it exist. I assessed the environment & the needs of the organization, compared it with who I was – I looked at what both the organization & I could bring to the table & then I put them in a blender.

I also mix metaphors. I’m never going to stop mixing metaphors, so don’t bother telling me that it’s a writing/life no-no.

(God, my wrists are cold)

I think one of the reasons why people are so horrifically unhappy is because we feel like we must cut off one part to make the other valid & thus successful. The problem with this is that it’s entirely due to peer pressure. I doubt anyone cuts off an arm or a leg because they feel like it would make their life better.

If I could not write I might as well not have an arm. If I could not watch action movies in 5 inch pink heels it would be like losing 4 of my toes.

And if you took my Kindle I’d turn into Eve from Wall-E & shoot you with a frakin’ nuke from my arm.

Then I’d watch Ultimate Fighter in a Betsey Johnson dress.

(I love that Pandora Radio just played Muscle Museum. It’s kind of awesome.)

We are all complex individuals and our lives suffer because of it. Consequently, our work ethic suffers – our productivity suffers.

I totally rock hard at my job because I weave every single aspect of my personality into everything I do. I don’t leave any of it. Everything is an asset, even my insecurities & things I hate about myself – and things others hate about me. I pull on every single thing about myself & use it to tackle every moment of my day.

I’d probably be a bad corporate pirate if I didn’t…. I’m actually a non-profit pirate, but the job’s the same except I’m actually curing cancer instead of just pretending that my job is more important than curing cancer.

If you want to be successful, if you want to have productive employees, happy children, happy marriages blah blah blah you’ll embrace every part of you & you won’t go ‘What the hell?” when someone expresses a part of their personality that seemingly contradicts another. In fact, maybe you’ll use this opportunity to engage them as to why do what they do instead of being a judgmental obnoxious gossipy 13 year old about it.

– This post was written in Prospect Heights Brooklyn
by a highly caffeinated individual wearing only
a pair of polka dot boyshorts & polka dot bra
while listening to Muse Radio on Pandora
& sitting at an Anthropologie-esque kitchen table
using an 8 inch Sony Vaio named Ruby.

(I’m way too hip for Apple)

No fingerless gloves though, that was Friday.

Tomorrow I’ll go to work & do my version of a corporate piracy & then head to the Lower East for sushi & cupcakes.



  1. And if you can't be your whole slef…why be anything at all? It took me thirty years to realize that epople could take me as I am or leave me. Those who stayed were my true firends and comrades.

  2. Okay, I'll bite – why does the good hard consonant sound work so well for selling stuff/oneself? Not that I doubt it (most famous brands I can name off the top of my head begin with hard consonants); I'm just curious as to the psychology behind it…And yes, we spend far too much of our lives trying to fit ourselves into restrictive little boxes…

  3. We're most likely to remember hard consonants. They stick in our mind. I actually wonder if it has something to do with the nerve endings in your mouth. For instance, mantras are chosen for their meanings, yes, but particular words are also chosen because of the meridian points your tongue hits when it forms the word. It causes a greater vibration in your body.

%d bloggers like this: