Style Report: Little things

I always like to look put together. It keeps me from slouching. If I don’t look like I just rolled out of bed I won’t feel like I just rolled out of bed.

Common sense. One of the rare imes it works for me.

1. Don’t carry your purse on your elbow. It just looks weird. Carry it in your hand or on your shoulder. If you don’t understand why then try this trick: Put your bag on your bent elbow & look in the mirror. Stand to the front and to the side. Now try it with your bag on your shoulder.  Amazing difference, isn’t it?

2. Don’t swing your arms when you walk. Are you preparing for take-off? I swear some people swing their arms to such an extent that I worry if I walk behind them they’ll swing a hand right into my girlie bits. Unless you have a mutant ability that allows you to fly by swinging your arms don’t do it. You look like you’re preparing for flight. Please stop, it’s just freakish.

3. I don’t want to see your stomach. I don’t care how skinny you are. Cover it up. Take this test before you go anywhere: Stand in front of the mirror & raise your arm. If you can see your middle then change your shirt or put a tank top underneath it…. or buy higher waisted pants.

‘Cute tiny backpack. Do you put all your tiny scrunchies in it?’
-Ugly Betty S3E5

4. Backpacks are not purses.

5. Be careful how much you play with your hair, bite your lip, shake your legs, make faces etc… I’m very guilty of playing with my hair. I’m aware it looks odd. And if you happen to have frizzy ends like I do you’re just making it worse.

6.  Guys, listen, if you NEED to sit with your legs that far apart something is seriously wrong and you need to go to the doctor immediately.

7. Gladiator sandals – Did your feet play footsie with the wrong guy under the dinner table last night? No? Then why oh why are you punishing them by putting them in an ugly cage?

8.  Flip flops – No one likes o hear the ‘thwackthwack’ sound they make when you walk. And truly, there is no faster way to look like you just rolled out of bed than by donning a pair of these. Listen girls, glittler, flowers, butterflies don’t change a thing. At the beach, pool, etc… I get it. Go for it, I wouldn’t but hey, have at it if you must but elsewhere – NO. I’ve seen one too many gorgeous dresses ruined by a poor choice in footwear.

8. Chew gum with your mouth closed. Chew everything with your mouth closed, unless for some reason you need to be mimicking a cow.

9. Sweatpants outside of the gym – You did just roll out of bed didn’t you? Oh, renaming them ‘yoga pants’ doesn’t make it okay. Don’t even start that ‘but they’re comfortable’ whiny business. If you purchase clothes that fit they will be comfortable. If your clothes are not comfortable then they are too small or the cut isn’t right for you.

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Comments

  1. I think that if you have more than one child you should get a pass on the sweatpants thing…I wear them all the time…not out other than to run to the store…but still

  2. No pass!! And here's why:You deserve to wear more than sweatpants. You are an amazing woman and everyone should know it the instant they see you. You deserve to feel really good about yourself and I don't know a single person who says "I love these sweatpants! They make me feel so fabulous!"

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