Okay, so if you don’t know, I have a dog. His name is Buttons.
He’s a Shiba Inu. He looks like a fox. Everyone in my neighborhood is in love with him. I don’t blame them. He’s quite fetching but he is also a gigantic coward.
Trash bags scare him.
I’m not joking. One night a gust of wind rustled some trash bags on the street and he leaped behind me.
But I digress.
This story is about how one of my neighbors annoys me.
I’m not sure if she thinks Buttons is the best thing or if she thinks she’s the best thing. I can’t tell. But she seems to be obsessed with him even though it is clear that he wants nothing to do with her. And she continues to try to talk to him etc.. no matter the weather.
20 degrees? Hey, Scarlet let me frighten your dog some more.
Pouring rain? Hey Butter come here Butter.
Yes, after seeing my dog nearly every day since October & being corrected DAILY she still thinks his name is Butter. Which is, I will grant you, an adorable name for a pet. In fact, one of my friends does have a cat named Butter. Nevertheless, it is not my dog’s name.
Every day I encounter this woman she calls him Butter and every day I want to scream in her face “It’s Buttons you halfwit! I’ve been saying this to you for months and months!”
When I was trying to teach Buttons how to walk on a leash she would call to him. She knew I was trying to teach him how to not be afraid of the outside world & walk on a leash etc… yet she’d come barreling toward us causing him to yank my arm & cower in fear.
Dude, seriously? What is her damage? Is it truly this possible for people to be so totally oblivious?
Actually, I’ve more than enough life experience to know that it is, so I don’t even know why I asked that question.
But here’s what she does that really truly grates one me. SHE MAKES KISS NOISES AT HIM.
She might as well drag her nails across a chalk board. The kissy noise is one of the most vile noises ever to emanate from a human being.
It is vile when men do it to me on the street – and what is with that, anyway? Do you guys really think making kissing noises at women is going to be a panty dropper? No, just no.
And why is the kiss noise the universal sign for calling an animal? All it does is make the noise maker look like an imbecile. Whenever my neighbor does this poor Buttons just looks at me as if to say “Please don’t let her pet me. She makes weird noises & still thinks my name is Butter.”
Even he finds it annoying. Shibas are introverts and like me, Buttons doesn’t like people all up in his business.
(I can’t believe I just used the phrase ‘all up in his business.’)
The real problem is that she’s a very nice lady & I don’t think she has a lot going for her so she’s just trying to connect with someone/something. I’d like to find some way to ask her to stop without hurting her feelings. I lack the tact gene (or so I’ve been told!) so I have no idea how to approach this other than to say “So that’s really annoying. How about you stop, okay?”
I imagine I’m not the only person with a neighbor who is over zealous about their pet, so any tips on how to deal with annoying pet lovers?
P.S. Everyone everywhere: Please stop telling me my dog looks like a fox as if this is some great revelation you are bestowing upon me. Because, dude, I KNOW.