I didn’t blog yesterday due to a migraine. It was a particularly bad one and so I was saving all of my computer time for work – which wasn’t particularly successful. It was one of those migraines that affected focus & thought processes so I didn’t get much done.
I’ll need to write about that one day – Migraines. I’d actually love input from fellow migraine sufferers. I know several of my Twitter followers have severe migraines. I’d love to have your feedback on how you deal with them & how they affect your daily life. I’m particularly thinking about aphasia – which is one of the worst and more embarrassing symptoms.
In other news, I’ve spent the week tracking down better project management software – I’ll detail that in another blog next week. I’m just writing it down so I’ll remember.
Other random thoughts: I tweet and talk entirely too much about my dog. I never thought I would be one of those people, but alas, I am.
Two of my friends just had a baby girl. I want to squeeze her to bits. They were very good friends with my brother. I am sad that he couldn’t share this beautiful time with them and I know they are too. They are such great people (hi if you are reading this!)
I also met another one of my brother’s friends via Twitter. I want to follow him (on Twitter, not in real life) and talk to him…. but I don’t know if that’s weird or not. Jake and I shared a lot of friends. We had a lot in common… but it is a bit out there to be like “Hi, you knew my dead brother. Let’s be friends!” At the same time, I’m still drawn to find more connections with Jake. Which in itself is a bit odd because I always feel connected to him. I never feel disconnected. I understood who he was. He understood who I was. That is rare in this world and I don’t believe connections like that ever die…. but yet I still long to know more about him… not on a philosophical or metaphysical level… but I long to know more about the simple moments in his life. I long to hear more stories of why people loved and cherished him.
It’s been almost a year since Jake died and yet there isn’t a day where some moment is not colored by his loss. I don’t know if it will always be that way or not. It doesn’t paralyze me. I’m able to compartmentalize just fine most of the time. Yet I feel like this hole inside of me should be a lot smaller by now.
This post has taken a rather dark turn. Sorry about that. I didn’t intend to write a sad entry today.