Retro-activity

I spent a decent amount of time today going through old blog posts from 2007.

It’s an interesting exercise. So far, I haven’t found anything that I’d repost here. There are a few snippets of words that I’m saving and may use as the basis of another post or poem or some really deep thought.

I expected this exercise to be emotionally taxing, but it really hasn’t been. In fact, it’s been rather freeing. I’m deleting old posts that I no longer feel a connection with – and that is like removing a giant weight off of my shoulders. In some respects though, going through old posts reminds me how I put trust in the wrong people, wasted time, etc…. but reviewing those times in my life simply serves as a reminder never to put myself in those situations again.

It refreshing to read blogs that are so filled with passion. Over the years, I’ve lost a tremendous amount of passion for life – which isn’t all that unusual, I think that happens to a lot of us as we get older and become more jaded.

Have you ever gone through your old writings? Did you discover anything about yourself in retrospect that you didn’t realize at the time?

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Comments

  1. I went through a lot of my old notebooks the year before I moved out of my mum’s place, tearing out the interesting stuff to save because otherwise the volume would’ve been enormous.

    I found bad but heartfelt adolescent poetry, earnest new lyrics to go with music from favourite songs, journal entries about old friends and boyfriends, and prayers that alarmed me slightly looking back because of how they charted the year or so running up to the loss of my faith. I wanted to reassure the me who’d written the latter.

    The most noticeable thing in hindsight is that at some point (which I’m still trying to identify), I stopped keeping notebooks for anything other than to-do lists. For most of my life I had a notebook around nearly all the time, and I spent a lot of time making lists (songs with cool titles; possible band names, in case I ever put enough work into learning to play the guitar; designs for toys, because toy design was clearly the best job in the world; packed lunch recipes; thread ideas for Coming Attractions… you get the idea), drawing, making plans and writing letters in order to never actually send them. I was intensely self-conscious about these notebooks because they revealed all my piffling inner obsessions in full flower, and I think my no longer keeping them was part dwindling patience/mounting frustration, part loss of my diary-keeping habit, and part self-consciousness once I started living with my partner. But I do have one that I use sporadically for drawings and mixtape tracklistings…

    Also, look! I have a WordPress account now! Well, I’ve had it for a while but I’m finally going to do something with it. Mirror the stuff from my work Tumblr at the very least, anyway. Anything I should know as a new WordPresser?

  2. “I spent a lot of time making lists” – and once we’ll manage to funnel that dormant list-making into “10 things you didn’t know about”-internet filler, we’ll be RICH!

    I once started going through old Xanga, but it made me want to travel back in time and slap myself. The past (say 15-20 years back) is especially the Land of Opportunities, Missed Because Of Being Miserable All the Time.

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